The Words We Choose
“Words and how they are used can be the difference between getting hugged or punched.” Mike Mathison Mobile Herald Star Every family speaks a private language born of childhood books, family history, and chance. Compressed, coined into words and phrases with extra meanings, the language is verbal shorthand. Deborah Tannen calls it a “Familylect.” Melissa Dibben described it as
“…the secret acronyms, subtextual phrases and redefined nouns that people invent at home, at work and among friends. Insider stuff fulfilling some innate, Spanky-and-Our-Gang need to own key words that unlock the clubhouse door.”
” Family language gets to the heart for joy or pain faster than any other words can fly. Or it can be just a funny name for meatloaf. When my brother was five he came home from school with a head full of images of Plains Indians and buffalo hunts. Mom made meatloaf for dinner that night. We were having company for dinner, and as we greeted them at the front door, an echo in the O’s and F’s of buffalo and meatloaf led him to announce, “We’re having buffalo for dinner!” Fast forward forty years to a Thanksgiving dinner where old family stories were told. Driving my mom, dad and aunt home afterward, I said, “If I told you I wanted buffalo for dinner, what would you fix?” In unison they replied, “Meatloaf.” Family language, and the way it defines and identifies us, emerged as a theme I wanted to explore. I don’t have comments turned on for this blog yet–I’m still trying to figure out all the bells and whistles. But I’d love to hear from people. If you have an example of family language you’d like to share, email me at peter@peterkahle.com.